Yullen: Heartbreak and Thigh Highs
by DaisyaBell
Summary: yeup ok Ch. 1 of idek how many good luck my dudes. (pls review/rate :vvv) Self harm tw
1. Chapter 1

Saying Allen hadn't cried in a while wasn't true, sure he shed a few tears here and there but nothing like this in a while. Tears were rolling down his cheeks like warm rain in the middle of a storm. He didn't even bother wiping them or trying to stop them currently. He felt like shit, he regretted everything he had done in the past hour to the point of throwing up not twenty minutes ago.

"God _DAMMIT_ why isn't he answering?" Kanda hissed as he desperately tried to call Allen for what seemed to be the hundredth time. He was more worried than pissed right now as he quickly headed to his boyfriends apartment. Quickly walking up to the door and ringing it a couple of times before slamming his fist against the door before hearing a muffled and weak "One minute..." from the other side of the door.

"K-Kanda?" Allen cleared his throat as he opened the door and hid mostly behind it, hiding the lose and not-so-well placed band-aids on his legs.

Kanda licked his lips and sighed in relief "You told me you cut yourself again."

"Its not as bad as other times..."

Kanda tipped his head to the side with a near unreadable expression before stepping in slowly. Allen closed the door behind him.

"Let me see them."

"What? No. I told you it wasn't bad."

"You don't usually hide the from me like that."

Allen sniffed and reflexively covered his band-aid covered thighs before starting to cry again and collapsing on the ground "I'msorryI'msorry'msorry." he muttered and whined between the most INTENSE sobs Kanda had ever seen.

Kanda took a sharp breath before sitting on the ground and pulling Allen into lap and into a gently but firm hug, his jacket still a little cold from his fast walk over. Not that it would matter much in the next few minutes and a LOT of proper bandages on Allen's legs.

It took a few hours and a _TON_ of coaxing before Allen even tried to drink water after calming down to the point of reason. Kanda had worked with him on this before, but didn't try to dwell on what might have caused him to relapse unless Allen wanted to talk about it. He knew better and didn't want more crying from his already exhausted counterpart.

Allen insisted, well about begged Kanda to stay as long as he could manage, which would be a few days but he'd need to grab extra clothes.

Later in the night when Kanda had returned with his bags he found Allen asleep on the couch where he had left him, on his side, face away from the couch back and hips on the side with his legs placed so the bandages weren't sticking to each other.

He set his bag down and picked him up before carrying him to his room and laying him on his bed. He stiffened and looked at the mess Allen had left on the ground next to the bed and pulling a cover over him.

"Leave me to clean up for you why don't you..." Kanda mumbled before picking everything up and disposing old bloody rags and tossing a couple of towels in the washer.

"Kanda...?" Allen stirred when the washer door slammed shut and was ready to freak out again, and tensed with tears welling in his eyes before Kanda poked his head back into Allens small room,

"What?"

"I heard the door.."

"I've been back a while now." He mumbled before leaving again.

"You changing?"

Kanda snorted "No i'm stripping, asshole."

"Not even a strip tease for me...?" Allen teased, his voice cracked from the strain of talking.

"Nope."

"Are you staying in the couch tonight?"

Kanda grunted in annoyance "Why does it sound like you want something?"

Allen let out and annoyed hiss through grit teeth "Stay in my bed tonight."

"No."

"... Is this a punishment for cutting?"

"No." Kanda's tone was a little softer this time, but still firm.

"You sure?"

"Does it feel like a punishment that I won't sleep in the same bed as someone who has cuts on his legs and bruises easy?"

"Yes."

Kanda sighed.


	2. Chapter 2

Allen woke up slowly to the smell of burning toast and what might have been eggs. He slowly rolled over and scrunched up his face after a failed attempt at stretching his legs a la lasts nights mental breakdown. He sat up and yawned before stretching his arms and slowly moving out of the bed. He reached out with his left hand to pull the slightly ajar door open and step out of his room.

Stepping into the small hallway of his apartment he walked slowly and with his hand against the wall to look out at the small dining room and kitchen area, where Kanda had managed to make breakfast. Albeit sloppily, but that wasn't Allen's main concern.

"Morning moyashi."

"Morning Kanda..."

Kanda looked over at Allen and glared briefly "You should eat."

"'m not hungry..."

"Not being hungry isn't an excuse, eat. I don't care if it's a piece of toast."

Allen huffed "My stomach is still rolling..."

Kanda snorted "Toast."

"Do you want me to throw up?"

"You're being over dramatic, i know you can hold down your food better then that."

Allen rubbed his face "Make it for me... please?"

Kanda nodded and went back to cooking, seemingly pleased with himself.

"I love you..."

"... I love you too."

Allen buried his face in his hands and sniffled "I-I'm sorry ab-bout sca-aring you last n-night..."

Kanda brought over Allens toast and set it down without a word, then looked at him with an exhausted face "You've beat yourself up enough in the past couple of days haven't you? Knock it off."

"b-but.."

"No 'buts' just breath and eat."

Allen huffed and slowly nibbled at his toast. "You forgot your plate on the counter."

Kanda opened his mouth to protest before growling a 'fuck' under his breath and quickly left to grab his abandoned plate.

Allen snorted and sighed while Kanda re-seated himself and angrily scarfed down his food. Kanda looked over at Allen who had just finished his toast.

"You doing any better?"

"A little."

"On a scale of one to ten."

"Compared to the negative one-hundred thousand last night about a four?"

Kanda nodded "and is that from eating?"

"Maybe half of it."

"Hm."

"Kanda my legs are cold..."

"You're wearing shorts, i'm not surprised."

"Kandaaaaaa~."

"No, you can't sit on my lap with my hands on your thighs."

"Fine, im borrowing one of your pairs of sweatpants then." Allen stood slowly and shambled off.

Kanda huffed "You aren't gonna find anything. I'm wearing the ones you like to steal."

Allen sat up from digging through Kanda's dufflebag. "Asshole."

Kanda snorted "Your welcome to those scratchy plaid ones."

"Change your pants then!"

"Nah."

Allen licked his lips and looked around "Maybe i won't tell you where i hid your dumb keys."

Kanda straightened and in his chair before standing and walking back to Allens room. "You won't? Not even if I break your dumb clown mask?"

"You wouldn't..."

"You're right unfortunately."

Allen sighed, god only knew how much that mask ment to him and kanda was always a little to mean in his teasing.


End file.
